Review of Massive Electric Storm @ The Market Tavern, Altrincham
A great band? Sure, a great band…but hey, we can all crank up the amp and send rock’s back catalogue smashing off the walls til the van arrives.
Nah, I’m talking about a real gig, you know, where time stands still and the music, yeah the MUSIC, just kinda sucks you in and you don’t wanna get out.
We’ve all been there. The one place in town where the doomed haven’t yet come to die, where the guy feeding you the freezing frothy stuff still remembers your name and, hey, he’s even half pleased to see your stupid dial! Well, we got a place like that. You may even know it – the sign outside says ‘The Old Market Tavern’ but we just call it ‘Shangri-La’ cos it’s the closest any of us shitkickers is gonna get to Heaven.
Saturday night. THE night. Looking sharp, feeling sharper, stepping out and hitting the Tavern.
Then the sign in the window – ‘Tonight – Massive Electric Storm’. SHIT! Never heard of ‘em.
Newbies? Noobs?
New. Kids. On. The. Block?!
Me and my main man Dan doing the limbo – should we stay or what? These guys any good? Dunno…screw it, let’s give it one song, then we’re out of here!
Inside. Familiar faces. Anticipation…but not too much. A murmur, a crackle, nothing more.
Wait, here comes the band, oh yeeeaaaah…usual suspects. Jeez, guitarists never crack a smile. Bass players, seen ‘em all. Is that the singer? Looks like a girl…at least he’s covered up…and the drummer! These guys would give Gok Wan nightmares…
Oh, OK, they’re gonna play…du duh du duh, yeah, yeah, Sunshine of Your Love, and what’s next, don’t tell me, Hush? Shit, it is! Soooo predictable!
But wait – movement all around me, and not the movement of people heading for the door. No, this is agitation-via-excitation! Yeah, something’s going down here. We’re halfway through the first set now and these guys are seriously cooking. What are they called? Massive Electric Storm? Yeah, the moniker’s apt cos they’re storming the joint now, man.
What’s hitting the throng is a non-stop white-knuckle trip down the technicolour tunnel of timeless tunes on a magical tapestry of noise. We’re talking classic rock, hard rock, punk rock, pub rock, blues rock, all mixed up. I’m getting hit by sonic colours I ain’t even imagined before and, what’s this? I’m smiling, moving my hips without the aid of a safety net, laughing and giving out beams of love through every pore. Has someone put a Mickey in my Midori, man? No way, cos we’re all doing it, EVEN Dan the Man, who hasn’t moved this fast since they were giving out free scratch and sniff pics of Suzi Quatro in Look-In!
I can’t remember how I ended up jiving like a justified juke-joint jongleur – they tell me it was when LA Woman crescendoed and I swear I saw the guy terrorizing the timpani begin to levitate. Mr Mojo Risin, these guys brought you back for one night only!
See, you wanna hear a rock and roll boogie stew that’s gonna feed ya head and satisfy ya soul? Yeah, me too. But you need the chops, man, and I ain’t talk cutlets here. Ya need the licks too. Sure, ya gotta have the ATTITOOD, and they sho’nuff got it. But ya need the cajones, yeah, and they gotta swing harder than Tiger at a naked golf convention.
Well, that’s the recipe. If ya want it cooking the way ya like it, who ya gonna call?
You got it…
MASSIVE.
ELECTRIC.
STORM.
So, like the man once said….
‘BOOK’EM, DANNO!’