....uncouth content alert......
So tonight after we set up for our gig at the Grey Mare we had an uncharacteristic half hour to kill. So, whilst murdering my band mates on the pool table (they really are gluttons for punishment and should realise that a bird who plays the drums probably has a misspent youth which involved quite a lot of pool playing behind her) Tom our singer decided that when he ultimately gets his tour bus (bless him!) he thinks it absolutely should have a pool table on it.
We didn't have the heart to tell him that playing pool on a bus was possibly one of the more inane suggestions he's ever made. Still, this is the same chap who I told should have bought Ernie Bill's strings as the Daddadio ones he had on were pants as I'd read a review in a magazine that said so, and his reply was "which magazine?".
He then proceeded to ask us all what we would insist on in our dream tour bus.
Nick said the most important thing was a quiet private area where he could wank to his heart's content.
Pete (old man time as we call him) said he was most concerned to make sure it had a toilet (at his age you have to consider your prostate).
I said I wanted a hunky drum tech who would alternately give me Indian head massages, sex, run on stage to tighten my nuts up to make me look uber important, sex, keep me supplied with kittens and fluffy bunnies, sex, and diet coke.
So, what would want to have in your ideal band-mobile? And please try to be more imaginative than my crew. Clearly they don't properly know how to fantasize......