NWB - Community Blog

A baby.

If you don't cheer up you're not having that extension lead back either!

Bono !!!

A good day?

AYD

blue slip on canvas shoes with chinos.

A curry!

Crash Helmets !!! they spoil your hair, lol

MAN BAGS !!!! FFS

MOOBS !!!

MUSTERS!

STD's !!!!

Yer right boss - tights!!

Rigging only!

AYD

SITTERS HEY JAY ???

ME SACK WAXED !!!!

the only way is essex

(celeb who havent done fuck all for 20 years and even then..) reality tv shows

women wearing enough fake tan and makeup so they look like a clown that got dressed in the dark

Posted by Keith - Kingpin - 26/09/2011, 23:05 (GMT)

@ this isnt nt even Al...whatever...cant be arsed...


Nice to see you've got into the spirit of it!

BOXING GLOVES

ayp

@kEITH, pmsl, that was just a stab in the dark matey ;-)

In no particular order:
Much Sex
A wank to compensate
Any luck with the lottery
Any luck finding a job
Any fucking money
Fucking politicians
Fucking Rochdale
Any joy trying to get a reach around of my bitch - sorry that's the first one again!

@Wick, roflmao ya menk !!!

Bleedin amp catalogues !!!!

Fookin' speed cameras!
Middle lane only tw*ts!
HollyfeckinOaks!
X*********(*********(*((*(YH*PYT)PO(TG^*(Y()^YTP%TPG*GT(&*)P*G&(P*&(P:*&G(GPFactor

That's better - that's off me chest!

AYD

Wick doesn't need 'em ;-)

Al

@Keith - Nah, she asked me once to compile a list of the top 5 people we're allowed to "sleep" with. Hers was the usual Colin Farrell, Ryan Reynolds, Brad Pitt etc. But when I said "your sister", world war fucking 3 broke out!

a small country that thinks it's bigger than it is stuck between American and European politics and getting the point of NEITHER of them. A country that is a corpse that thinks it has a pulse populated with polar opposites that want to apologise or get angry about forced homogenisation with both sides wearing a crocodile smile about the other.

*ticktickticktick*

pesky Injuns !!!

@ Bad Horsie (Mick)

Trust you to bring it down to gutter level!!

Chips without salt n vinegar

AYP

Guitarists that spend 5 mins changing guitars between songs....errr

I'll get me sticks

AYeD

gorgeous long legged dancing busty scantily clad female backing vocalists, that what I'm not havin !!!!
damn !!!!

@Keith - People that stand in the doorway when you are tring to get your gear out

A well aimed guitar case into the offenders kneecap usually moves them on.

Supper!

AYP

or spurs :o)

Hmm, cuban heels can make some people seem taller though ;-)

Fookin' rappers

AYP

I'm big in other ways.... sideways! (beat ya to it)

AYfuckyoulotIhaveotherimagenaryfriendsP

Compare the fookin MeerKats

Cot Keith get it right !!! lol

It all started off so well too !!! ;-)

Oi Muttley!!

Muttley's chokin'!

AYP

'# Posted by Al? Al? Who the feck is Al? - 26/09/2011, 23:45 (GMT)

Oi!! I'll not have anything derogatory said about my beloved Tottenham!! Harry's doing a marvellous job at the minute!!

erm I mean... Oi Muttley!!

Muttleys been sick on the carpet and Guinness has come down his nose !!!

I think he meant cowboy spurs pmsl

Didn't Tex's fall off at the Hindley Arms Charity do pmsl

Fookin' Meerkats!

Tex

I may be nearin 40 but nowts fell off just yet, ya twot !!!

Who, me?

AYW?

No - I'm Al

AYT

I've been working undercover on a mission Keith, its purely on a need to know basis buddy ;-)
have I missed owt ??

You don't need to know

AYP

Tell you what I'm not havin !!!! any fookin sleep !!!

Oi Keith - Tottenham need all the fans they can get at the minute!!!

Apparently, during the Tottenham riots, someone threw a six foot plank through a shop window. Although Tottenham denied any serious injury, they did say it affected Crouch enough to see him moved on to Stoke!!

Dunno really, aint havin any Bigbrostrictlycumfactorgetmeottaherewank !!!

Night John Boy ;-)

Skriking X Factor punters.
Metallic silver cars,why would anyone want a car the same color as a wet road?
Lads with their pants crutchpiece around their knees.
Running out of Branston pickle,when youve had a jar in the fridge for 2 years.
Eastenders,I need an interpreter.
The cat vomiting a dead mouse on yer carpet when its been out all night.,just when yer havin yer cornflakes.. Do yer want anymore....T

Fuckin coleslaw
having to trim my friggin eyebrows
pulling out ridiculously fast growing ear and nasal hair
the size of Mars bars these days
llamas
clothe fact that the most disappointing search in google images is the word 'flange'

Steve Kean
Motorway drivers who aren't aware that you are supposed to keep to the left.
politicians
Trisha
Venkys
camp tv presenters - any of them!
Steve Kean

@ Anthem, there you go fellah have a look at this, it came up when I typed flange in google, it was about third down the list.,
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=flange
I know it's not images but it's funny.

@JoeBass - Oh dear.....LOL!!!

the thick end of an irn-bru bottle????? LOL

Any twat that calls tea-time "a light supper"

Every twat that appears on the Jeremy Kyle show ... including the host

Tossers that sit in a traffic jam in front of you with their foot on the brake ... burning your fuckin' retina's out!

And finally ... pricks that turn right on roundabouts without indicating ... cos you don't need to do you, after all the mere sight of a roundabout makes us all fuckin' mind readers!!!!


Long day!

Liam Gallagher
Pop Tarts
GMPT
Ugg Boots
Sharkfin plectrums
Guitar Hero
Pay to play
'Call me Dave'
4 different fcking rubbish bins outside my gaff

tripe
trying to open a tesco bag
traffic wardens
fast food that isnt fast
tracksuit bottoms worn with shoes
phone calls about debt
david essex
cartoon character socks
jeans with elasticated ankles
car salesmen
friends (tv)
ikea

gonna have to sit down now, blood pressure is up

50 year old Groupies

Absolute dickheads on motorbikes and in shit cars with an unbelievably loud exhaust. Why?
Traffic Wardens. It isn't just a job.
Eastenders. The visual equivalent of the Daily Mail keeping the country wound up, and I pay my licence for the fecker.

Ooh I feel a bit better now.

Old people that do their shopping during my lunch break
The kid that screams constantly on a flight

text jokes
spam emails (no its big enough thank you!!)
gold name chains
betterware catalogues

oh and at the moment DRUMMERS

"we're all in it together"....yea right Mr Cameron, who are you trying to fucking kid!!!!!

anymore sex...it's way overrated....or so Norma says:-(((

Michael F Sweeney on 'Real XS'

AYP

(see if you can work out what the 'F' stands for.....)

funny?

Errr....NOT!!!!

AYP

ooops sorry I meant fanny

Oh and Jon Bon Jovi, Narcissus himself. Or is that Simon Cowell? In fact sod it both of em.

anyone who's not having us nice friendly spurs fans :p

Tottington Hotspurs? Yeah they're ok.

Ejectthetape beat me to it !!!

;O)

Bands who big themselves up but who are actually shite.

Peanut butter.
Any 'soap' operas.
The Sun 'news'paper.
Nissan Jukes.
The state of our feckin' roads!
Paulo Neutrini.
Big plates with a VERY small amount of food on.
Running out of bog paper.....

AYP

Have you seen 'em? They've got to be the ugliest car ever.

How do they get people to buy them?

"Yes I know you'll look a complete tw*t, but we guarantee you a place in Heaven"

8-)

AYD

Deja vu?

AYP

I like the Nissan Juke ;-) it's much better than my Micra !!!

Nothing wrong with 50 year old groupies

Bring `em on............

'# Posted by T CLOTH - 27/09/2011, 17:09 (GMT)

"Nothing wrong with 50 year old groupies"

There is Nick!! Ian T has had 'em all and you wouldn't wanna put it where he's been would ya??!!

Well there is that I suppose......... ...Any way 50`s quite young for most of my cabaret audiences.

As long as they don't turn up to the gig in a Nissan Juke....

AYP

.......it.

Covers most bases I find.

....am not having ...

jordan / peter andre / kerry fuggin katona / jade goody (before she became princess of our hearts #2) and the hundreds of other manufactured do nothing, worthless no marks who apparently are celebrities these days. The fact that there are B,C etc etc list celebrities at all shows what a fucking nightmare humans have actually become! They all have 2 things in common ... they rut like fucking pigs and they are as gormless as a piece of month old dried up dog shit......

[actually foamed at the mouth whilst typing all that!]

@ LA80 (Mark) LMBAO !

Take it your a " Big Brother" fan then !!! lol!

@ stans .... i pick more worthwhile objects out from under my toenails after a day wearing my riggerboots.

DRUM MACHINES!!!!!!!!!!!!!


AYP

I've got ham, but I'm not a hamster!

YD

I've got chills............................ they're multiplying........................

And I'm losing control...........................................................

@ keith ... this following is true .... oh so true!!

I absolutely detested miss goody with a passion that i never knew i possessed before..... real pure unadulterated hatred!!! Hated her so much for being a talentless brain dead moron and yet still managing to get so many column inches in the papers "jade said this, jade wore this" and the one that made my piss boil the most "jade is a role model for the modern young women" .....WHAT!!!!!!????

I actually felt peeved when she passed away.....At the time my missus thought it was hilarious that i was almost mourning the fact that she had passed away ..... my nemesis was no more....my response to the missus "yes i am bitter and disappointed that the opportunity to ram a railway spike into her fat head has now vanished".

Does that imply stong feelings??? I dunno Im not a therapist..... and my last one is sadly no longer with us ... after the, ahem, 'INCIDENT'.

Flip flops or open toed sandals on anyone in a band

now worse then mens blue canvas shoes, is deck shoes, with no socks, with chinos CRINGE

max clifford and piers morgans, T**TS

the various tonal qualities of capacitors!

The Black Eyed Peas - although I've got a feeling that tonight at Georgia Brown's is going to be a good night!

AYP

Posted by 4most Wanted - 27/09/2011, 17:16 (GMT)

'# Posted by T CLOTH - 27/09/2011, 17:09 (GMT)

"Nothing wrong with 50 year old groupies"

There is Nick!! Ian T has had 'em all and you wouldn't wanna put it where he's been would ya??!!

......................they then bring their 25 yr old daughters ...and ..... ......... !!!!!!

'# Posted by G-IT-22 - 01/10/2011, 14:01 (GMT)

"Nothing wrong with 50 year old groupies"

There is Nick!! Ian T has had 'em all and you wouldn't wanna put it where he's been would ya??!!

......................they then bring their 25 yr old daughters ...and ..... ......... !!!!!!


Then their daughters say "look at that silly old twat in the pink vest, still trying to be a rock god!!"

Followed by " Mum, how can you go out with someone who spends longer on his hair than you"!!!

........some band give '4 fk sake' a bass job please ....great singer/bassist .......b4 his blood pressure boils !!!!!

Pissed up punters who completely ignore you all night until the last two songs then go absolutely fookin' bonkers singing and dancing like it's going out of fashion, then keep you on for three encores even though you're really hot and sweaty and want to pack up and feck off home for a nice cold beer, proceed to talk your ear off for half an hour about the bands they were in and the guitars they owned (complete with pictures on their phones) whilst you are trying to pack up and then, given the entirety of the interior and exterior of the venue, stand right in the doorway as you are trying to get your gear out, completely ignoring your polite "excuse me, excuse me", until they move about half an inch, only to move back as soon as you are past and then get uppity when you clip them on the leg with your kitbag (accidentally on purpose) which probably hurts quite a lot to be honest.

Punters - who needs them?

AYP

@ayp i know how you feel (in a way)

i hate sundays, coz between 7 and 10:55 the pub is empty, i'm just about to close and in walls this guy. he buys one drink and won't leave til it's done. that normally take 45mins. at least. I WANT MY BED! it'd be ok if he'd partaken in some purchases throughout the evening but no! he'd rather come in late and piss me right off.

i know it's not quite the same but i kinda get your point. knobheads

Ha ha ha ha ha - just noticed that comment Keith!

People who only want to bring other people down.....

AYD

AYP - completely blown ur cover there matey! ;-)

And here's me thinking the 'AYP' at the end might be a bit of a give away.......

AYP

oh yes AMP lol cos i knew straight away that 'pornstar' would be you - after all, who else would it have been pmsl!!!