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Can you believe I got assulted second week on the trot

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Posted By : Bass-tard | Comments : 6

by a giant pair of knockers !!


Ok so last week at Vikings request I had the barmaid with the giant Bristol’s come over and rub them in my face during a song. (PS I didn't drop a note)

Fair do it was very nice and made me smile for the rest of the night but this story has already been covered.

Well bugger me this week we were playing The Roadrunners bike rally in Bromsgrove and it has a large stage with steps down the front leading to the dance floor. We were playing the jack and 2 very nice biker ladies were dancing with their legs up on the steps all seductive like, I thought it would be nice to sit on the steps between them and pretty soon I am getting my own private lap dance while playing.

Then the light was blocked out by what I can only describe as a zeppelin race heading towards me, no bull the biggest set of melons I have ever seen in my life were homing in on my head, quite how they stuck out so far was a miracle and she must have had some special welded frame to keep them up, they has bitter and larger tatooed on them as well!! and they were heading my way, I was trapped .

Our drummer claims I started to cry at that point and she then proceeded to whap my head side to side with them, they were monsters, it was like getting whacked round the face with a joint of beef in a bin bag.

In 20 years of gigging I have never been tit assaulted before and now twice in 2 weeks !

Bit disappointed we don’t have a gig next week to be honest

Comments

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# Posted by Dom Blair - Tsunami69 - 03/10/2011, 12:37 (GMT)

I'm not a bass player by trade, but I will happily dep for you whenever you need a 'break'.......


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# Posted by Viva la Coldplay - 03/10/2011, 13:08 (GMT)

Brilliant!!


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# Posted by T CLOTH - 03/10/2011, 14:57 (GMT)

Happens to me all the time but I usually wake up just before the best bit.....


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# Posted by viking - 03/10/2011, 17:19 (GMT)

@bass-tard- "(PS I didn't drop a note)"-yeah, right, bro!!!-alan's still picking 'em up off the stage now!!! pmsl!! ;-P


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# Posted by deceased - 03/10/2011, 20:49 (GMT)

was like one of them dirty storys in a porno mag !!! .... not that ive ever read em lol .


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# Posted by Willow (of somebig™Fish) (Reti... - 03/10/2011, 20:59 (GMT)

Bitter and Larger .... fuck me it's the ex current mrssBF!!!


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