NWB - Community Blog

you learn a song, and at reahersal its the wrong key for the singer so you have to go learn it all again in another key, sh sh sh sugar

They are all F****** C****

when people dont practice really f*kin pisses me off

There are no annoying traits in our band. We get along perfectly all the time don't we boys?

Ditto, Dog!....I've learnt all mi parts, got the structure down, and am raring to go, then the dreaded "I've not had chance to listen to it" is spoken by a band member...cue an unhappy face and looking to the sky, whilst shakin' the head.

we get on great but ive had my fair share of ahem characters over my 18 years of being a muso

we all sometimes get stressed especially when if were setting up and in each others way we make fun of it and do the following(but in a light hearted funny way) for example..

while trying to plug some effects in or something and one of us is stood on a lead right in front of the other

Steve?..... yes Rob? fu*k off over there youre in my way!!

ha ha always breaks the ice

Right, they've gone.

Where do I start?

Our singer used to shoot me with an air rifle, that was a bit annoying.

band members that want you to move all the drum kit six inches this way or that when you have just got every bit in the right place,

a singer i worked with years ago bizarrely loved Free but didnt always like playing Free stuff cos he didnt like Paul Rodgers singing voice?..............

fool.and WTF?!!!!!!

Posted by mr.nwb - 26/03/2009, 21:49 (GMT)
Guitarists who turn sneakily turn themselves up after every song at a gig.

Omg, Ian does that after every bloody song although, he says he's turning it down. I doubt it!

It annoys me when the band sod off at the end of the gig leaving the drummer still packing...That's bad!

It annoys me too when bands have a decent size stage and yet they still insist on sticking monitor cabs, Speakers etc on our dance floor leaving US no room...Now that really is annoying!

Posted by Shell - 26/03/2009, 22:25 (GMT)
"It annoys me when the band sod off at the end of the gig leaving the drummer still packing...That's bad!"



Wish I could sod off, but he's giving me a lift! lol

I spend ages setting PA up so it sounds perfect...and then someone start twiddling the knobs

also drummer always insists on sticking drums right behind me (no matter how big or small stage is)so I can't step back

also bass player insists on using phaser for a particular song, completely phasing the notes, having em swirl round all over the place so you can't keep the beat

Posted by NIGHT TRAIN - "also bass player insists on using phaser for a particular song, completely phasing the notes, having em swirl round all over the place so you can't keep the beat" ................................................maybe it's just a phase he's going through!?

funny how nobody wants to set up the PA/mixing desk so you volunteer yourself then everybody suddenly becomes sound engineers all of a sudden "such and such needs more high mids", or a guy over there has said your guitar sound is too bassy"....."what the sozzled guy over there thats got drinks and food spilt down his shirt?"

yeah theres a song by Incubus on the Morning View album called Just a Phase, is it that one he uses it on?.......

We never do that ie leave drummer packing up - its rude, we give her a hand to be honest. Everybody pretty much helps everybody and we all carry the equipment no matter whose it is.
Seems fairer that way.

Well I'm the singer, do I love myself - mmm not really

The band members who, whilst your sweatin ya nuts off setting up or ripping down, stand about talking about chuffin guitar strings, or fookin knitting patterns or recipes for bleedin victoria sandwiches, whilst at the same time flicking thier long GHD straightend hair back out of their faces so's the pissed birds can see them..idle gits.

The drummer packing up?? We had a drummer, who at the end of one particular gig in Bolton... stood up off from his kit/stool and said i'm coming back tomorrow for my kit and promptly pissed off, twat!! left the rest of us to the ripping downand loading, bastard!
We have a different drummer now, and he is dead good, he's called Keefy.

gawd...lead guitarist/singer (ha!) with my last band was all of the above...is this a record???..lol

I left because of "musical differences"..he thought he was musical...i didnt..lol

F*&^%$g DRUMMERS!!!

When you're having a great gig, and the singer goes and tells a horrific sexist joke that alienates 50% of the audience and completely ruins the rest of the gig.

I still have flashbacks and cringe when I think of it lol

when the guitarist doesnt play what hes supposed to
when the singer forgets the words and completely f*cks the song up that you've worked so hard to get ready for this gig...and I'm a solo act...mmmmmmm lol

# Posted by SABRE - 26/03/2009, 21:57 (GMT) band members that want you to move all the drum kit six inches this way or that when you have just got every bit in the right place # I share your pain brother.

Bass players who think you can''t hear them. !

Posted by mr.nwb - 26/03/2009, 22:08 (GMT)

Bass players who refuse to play root notes, just because, "they dont do root notes"

WHATS A ROOT NOTE? I JUST MAKE A TROUSER FLAPPIN RUMBLE, AND THATS JUST THE KEBAB FROM T'NIGHT BFORE.

# Posted by Hare Of The Dog - 26/03/2009, 21:45 (GMT)

when people dont practice really f*kin pisses me off
Posted by THE LAZZY BAND - 26/03/2009, 21:49 (GMT)

Ditto, Dog!....I've learnt all mi parts, got the structure down, and am raring to go, then the dreaded "I've not had chance to listen to it" is spoken by a band member...cue an unhappy face and looking to the sky, whilst shakin' the head.

MMMM, theres a pattern developing here......

Guitarists who play the first few chords of the next song to "check their sound", thus giving away what the next song is.

Drummers who use cowbells.;-)
Drummers who want all the bloody stage area for themselves.

Grumpy drummers!!!!!!

(Tee Hee.............you know who you are!)

Funny you say that Mr NWB I know a couple of guitarists who used to do that....annoying buggers!!!

It's a woodblock, not a cowbell!

yeah mr nwb im right htere with you on that. it well does my head in when people play random tunes to get the crowd going then launch into summat else. its a surefire way to lose an audience

Drummers who go for a piss 0.3 nano seconds before the 2nd spot..

Yup, I've been there for the guitard who had to 'practice' the intro to the song, completely ruining the anticipation from the audience. He was also guilty of playing the intro to songs that our singer didn't know, causing dissapointment to the audience when we couldn't do that song. We had to sack him!

I also agree with the thought that players who are insecure about their own abilities are often the biggest prima donnas, and are the most fussy about not sharing kit, and having everything pefect every time, just to play fairly easy rock covers.

We had a guitarist audition and take up the cudgels with us, Learned 15 or so songs out the set. Gigs were on the horizon then the t**t decided he didn't fancy progressing. We had dates to cancel and we missed out on a better guitarist. We still laugh out loud about it now!

Girlfriends who are still getting 'ready' ..when they know its time to set off for a gig !!!!
that must be the top one !!!

Posted by RIFFRAFF(uk) - 27/03/2009, Girlfriends who are still getting 'ready' ..when they know its time to set off for a gig !!!!
that must be the top one !!!
.
mmm i can agree with that one !!!!!!!!!!

ruins/riff raff-i take it the first comment "Posted by RIFFRAFF(uk) - 27/03/2009, 18:49 (GMT)" was in your secret persona of "appliance man" and the second one (Posted by MOTHERS RUIN - 27/03/2009, 19:12 (GMT)) was in the guise of a once and future" comment observation??
don't you just hate it when musos take advantage of having several personas?? no medication necessary either!! :-))

the following is based on actual events.......

Jane?(Rob talking up the stairs to his beloved)

Steves here now and weve loaded up the car, ready to go now, you ready?

just finishing my make up, will be about 5 minutes

aaarrrgggghhhh dont you just love em

annoying traits, waking up next to the lead guitarist from your band at the colne blues festival tony duck from the (ducks/ac/do)and prize lurcher (terence) between the both of us (oh the rock,n,roll lifestyle, its farts stunk !!! eat your heart out lemmy !!!

Comment from one of the band suggesting we change the setlist 5 minutes before we are on.
Or even worse - changing the set half way through the set!!

Posted by Hare Of The Dog - 27/03/2009, 21:47
just finishing my make up, will be about 5 minutes

Haa the magic time travelling '5 minutes'

Posted by viking - 27/03/2009,
ruins/riff raff-i take it the first comment "Posted by RIFFRAFF(uk) - 27/03/2009, 18:49 (GMT)" was in your secret persona of "appliance man" and the second one (Posted by MOTHERS RUIN - 27/03/2009, 19:12 (GMT)) was in the guise of a once and future" comment observation??
don't you just hate it when musos take advantage of having several personas?? no medication necessary either!! :-))

You shud see me in my superhero suit ....err maybe not ..eh!!!

hahaha missed this one! i used to be in bands ages ago before answering my call............the one thing that put me off was egos. (you know the type. been around for a few years so automatically think they know more than everybody else......rhythm players who think they have to be louder than lead.......backing vocalists who just steam in whenever they fancy, often like a cat freshly pierced by a machete etc) thats why i turned my back on it all and started spreading the good word. God bless NWB!

We once invited a keyboard player to come and jam with us....he arrived ok, but forgot his keyboard...
I mean, you're going out to jam keyboard with a band and forget to take it?????

just hypmotize the b******s i do cause i'm the drummer...!and yes i'm iportant!!!

Our drummer forgot to take his drum seat, earlier on this year, and had to use a short stool. Funny as a thing that's very funny!...

Our drummer, Andy, regularly forgets to bring his electronic kit or any drum sticks to rehearsals and has a rather annoying 30 minute round trip to go get the missing items.

Also bassist Gav has a wireless rig that fails at almost EVERY gig

i once got told of a story of a drummer who,s drum stool base had worn though and while at a gig the stem of the seat broke though the padding and went stright up his arse, and he was taken to hospital to have it removed. who knows he may be on here to fill in any cracks in my story.

Posted by SABRE - 29/03/2009, 17:51 (GMT)
"to fill in any cracks in my story."
Now is that a joke there pete .we never know with you ???? Ha

no honestly its stright up, haha

band members who cannot sort their OWN f*cking sounds out !

arent we all just a really intolerant bunch hah ha seriously though some funny stuff, better that were laughing about these things(through gritted teeth :-).....)

Robertos

really intolerant ??? is that when you lose your temper on the loo, in,toilet,rant

Pete as short round says in indiana jones and the temple of doom

you not mad you crazy!!

I'm pretty annoying as a band trait...

...selfish, arrogant, loads of effects pedals and a bass player.

Pete theres nowt worse than the band learning a new song without informing the singer as its probably in the wrong key ;-)

Band members that take ages to start a song leaving poor old singer to talk to the punters when its clear they aint that good at it;-)
ps whats a pregnant pause,i use that a lot when stuck for summat to say.

Guitarists that tune up at full gig volume, before and during a gig. Plink, plonk, plink, plonk.Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh

Had a drummer in one band who was a gravedigger, he ended up buried in a grave he was digging, true story, it even made the papers!

Pig i can think of a few ex muso aquaintances that i'd like to have seen that happen to.LOL

Back to the thread,as a singer you learn a song only for one of the members to say,'actually i can't play it'.Works both ways;-)

I think ive started blogging to myself a bit like Sabre Pete mi old Harty.Crack open the Wood's Rum mi old shipmate.Ha Ha

okayyyy- guitarists/bassists,singers who stand around chatting up the local totty or enjoying a drink (or three) whilst the drummer is struggling to set up on a pin head sized back stage!! and then stroll over and say "are you not ready for the soundcheck yet??!!" g'rrrrrr!!!

Guitarists turning up their volume AFTER a sound check. It got that bad with one that we doubly checked if he was happy with the levels, and while he went to the bar, we gaffa-taped all his amp-controls up. Not best pleased!

if somebody messed with my amp id belt em one ha ha :-)

Rob

Singers talking too fast 'cos they're on an adrenalin-rush....and anybody on the front line turning their back on the audience to play some gratuitously widdling solo(that sounds like all the others) to the bassist or drummer!....
Height of bad manners!
And the group of indignant smokers at the door that flatly refuse to move while you're carrying the gear in or out!

Hang on!!!!....Am I getting "grumpy old man" syndrome? lol

when the singer insists on having his double whiskys with him on stage to 'loosen the voice up' and gets more and more noticably pissed as the gig goes on, and then isn't fit to pack up afterwards cos he can't stand up........


Erm that was me ;)

I keep it in moderation now.... sometimes!

# Posted by RIFFRAFF(uk) - 27/03/2009, 18:49 (GMT)

Girlfriends who are still getting 'ready' ..when they know its time to set off for a gig !!!!
that must be the top one !!!

LOL! She ain't in the band, so she doesn't dictate the time. My wife is golden in that respect. 8o)

This is a bit generic, but I won't consider being in a band with anyone who's ego is bigger than their sense of humour. I despise primadonnas.

yep people who stand in the doorway/entrance to the pub while you are loading/unloading.
people who stand in the doorway/entrance to the pub while you are loading/unloading and feel the need to pass comments.

people who "lurk" around your car while unloading

pubs that think the band are funiture movers.

people who refuse to move from the stage area even after you have asked them politely.

the guy in the crowd who insists you play a song you don't do. Then gets a strop on.

musicians who think they play better when they're pissed.

people who try to hold a long conversation with you in the frackin toilet.

egotists.

blah blah blah

pig- "pubs that think the band are funiture movers."
at leaat you don't have that problem at the crickies? "coooeeee, mr. shifter viking!!" heh heh!!

I have no complaints about the cricketers -top venue, top people

Posted by viking

at leaat you don't have that problem at the crickies? "coooeeee, mr. shifter viking

*******************i will remember that for July:-)*************

Posted by Pig - 15/04/2009, 21:33 (GMT)

yep people who stand in the doorway/entrance to the pub while you are loading/unloading.
people who stand in the doorway/entrance to the pub while you are loading/unloading and feel the need to pass comments.

***********************that is really f**king annoying , people in the way, its starting to really annoy me more and more, to the point where i might start shouting at people stood in the way, and the passing comments, like "is that speaker column heavy?" , yes IT IS!!!!!!**
regards
Rob

pig-"I have no complaints about the cricketers -top venue, top people"
especially as "mr shifter viking" was trained by THE professional table shifter-"hoist the chair, shift that table"!! -none other than rocking' ken!!!
(the crickies love wrecked, too!!!)
(and you've let me get away with the typo too!!! thanks, thp!!! owe you one!!)hail'n'do you know that pool table is on my foot??!!!

Has it all gone quiet? is it all off our chests?....Noo!... What about chasing the money after the gig when the manager has "just gone to make a couple of fone-calls" or "he's just gone to do the cashing-up"(a little off-subject but I bet I'm not the only one stood about waiting!)

The Band
========

The musician who assumes it was a terrible gig just because they didn't play too well, or made a couple of (barely noticable) mistakes.

Bassists who are just root note thumpers... Boring! (can't you tell I'm a bassist)

Keyboard players who just use the built in sounds on their keyboard rather than making their own.

Drummers who pretend to be really keen and well into your music, yet when you're on the verge of gigging pull out and leave you in the lurch.

The stage-fright bandmate, will rehearse to the point of lunacy and insist on soundchecking endlessly and if they had their way would be at the venue before it even opens, just to be sure - rather than just setup, turn everything on and play.

(this reads somewhat like a Film One biography)

The "Fan"
=========

People who stand in the doorway are the spawn of satan, particularly when they start kicking off or laughing! They should try lifting more than their own bodyweight in bass cab, or f**k off!

Mr "Why are you using that guitar/amp/keyboard/drum kit, I've got blah blah and it's miles better".

The Chin-stroker. This breed of fan stands there pondering everything about your performance and how they'd do it better if they were given the chance, but oddly they're not on the stage for some strange reason?

What about that "extra" member of the band that appears from under the sound-desk at the bigger venues???....The "in-house P.A." engineer!...GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!........Don't get me wrong....most are brill.... but SOME!!! AARRRGH!

# Posted by Crush - 01/05/2009, 00:02 (GMT)

What about that "extra" member of the band that appears from under the sound-desk at the bigger venues???....The "in-house P.A." engineer!...GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!........Don't get me wrong....most are brill.... but SOME!!! AARRRGH!

The first and only time I played the Thatched House in Stockport with this band (was regular with Renegade, Thin Lizzy covers), we got told "it's £150. also you need to pay our in house sound guy £40".

Don't think so mate. There's a reason we have our own engineer.

Audience member -"do you know blah blah?"
Band "No"
Audience member "Can you play it though?"
----------------
Our bass player that keeps playing the intro to "walking on the moon" but none of know it....
-----------------
bod from the audience at half time or at the end...I dont play design for life like that...I play it like this....like I give a F&*K

pissed people who come up the "compliment" you at the end, and they time it for when youre surrounded by cables and boxes and trying to put everything away

no we dont play angels!!!!!!!! (when all of your set has just been hard/classic rock and/or heavy metal

a band members girlfriend who thinks theyre a 'kin expert on what and how to play everything and what people want to hear(think Janine from Spinal Tap movie)

Following on from Kinpins .........

Audience Member - "do you know xxxxx"
Band - "No"
A.M - "you dooooooo"
Band - "er, no, we don't"
A.M. - "oh come on you dooooooooo"
Band - "fuck off!!"

:)

willowfish

ooooooops ..... sorry I meant "f*ck off!!"

:o(

Posted by Hare Of The Dog - 26/03/2009, 21:58 (GMT)

one band that was taking shape about 5 years ago, was a real top notch band, i was paired up with another hot guitarist, i emailed him during the week between practices to try and suss out which parts we would play of the guitar harmonies on Iron Maidens hallowed be thy names,(theyre the same timings but played in different notes, thats all........the next practice he told me he didnt like being dictated to and would play whatever he wanted, i also brought up that night we could share solos according to our slightly different styles etc and play it by ear from song to song ,his reply was "whoever plays it best gets to play it, end of story"

i quit that group the next day, im always a team player and into the end whole result, yes i have my moments (dont we all and only usually when things arent working properly or people dont practice as much)and i like things to be just so sometimes and have high standards but i cant relate to egos about this thing

in my experience ive found egos have come from people that are not actually that good anyway

Rob


----
I think I know who you are talking about here..

Don't get me started on the "Do you know blah blah" brigade. The worst one for that was this mad old bat in the crowd once asked the lads (in Dyehouse NOT Film One in this instance) if we played "Black Dog" by Led Zep, to which we said "no we don't, but we do Rock and Roll" to which she saids to her mate (pulling a look at those ignorant fools face) "no, they've never heard of it!" Err, slightly different there! Then her daughter comes up and says "can you dedicate your best song to my mum, it's her 40th", to which we do (barnstorming rendition of Highway Star), giving a "Happy birthday Mrs X"... At which point she kicks off with us (literally) and goes "it's not my f-ing birthday you f-ing c**ts!"

Bloody bizarre (and she was uglier than a pug's a**ehole as well). Oh and if you're reading this aforementioned lady... I hate Black Dog!!!

gotta say though i really wish all the best to any previous band members and colleagues over the years,sometimes these things just dont work out and sometimes its a miracle that 4/5 musicians can just about agree on the same things(or at least meet somewhere in the middle) . it never gets any easier but often we come thru the other side wiser,maybe learning something about ourselves too and what we are like to work with (cos its not always someone elses fault)

that probably makes me sound like an Edith Piaf of rock (je ne regrette rien)........
will probably have someone correcting my French grammar shortly..............

Yup can relate to all of the above and more, but one thing I hate is infighting. Got to say as the ONLY female in the band I am always right regardless and seen as I am against my husband, my dad and two band members they let me think it ;)

my own trait is that i am a pretentious self absorbed melodramatic singer/songwriter type that cant find a band because i want them to be 'into' what im writing.... that and the fact my singing isnt great

And my friends say i like to pile on too much reverb on vocals

To much reverb? NEVER never never......

I'm sure Andrew Eldritch would disagree very strongly with you Mr NWB!

Though in all seriousness, the natural reverb on a room depends on lots of things, such as carpet, ceiling height and volume of punters in the room, so you need to add the odd bit or you end up sounding as dry as a bone.

The singer is ALWAYS too serious and the bassist is about as reliable as a used condom!

# Posted by Film One - 04/06/2009, 15:40 (GMT)

"Though in all seriousness, the natural reverb on a room depends on lots of things, such as carpet, ceiling height and volume of punters in the room, so you need to add the odd bit or you end up sounding as dry as a bone."

Yup. Punters suck up reverb and frequencies like vampires. Especially the more......rotund....ones. :oD

1. Drummers who always set up in front of the singer/bass player.
2. The band member who frequently drops a SBD in the middle of song where you're just about to take adeep breath before the next vocal line and then just f*&kin smiles at you. bastard.

Cow Bells ;-)

Cow Bells and Dancing in the moonlight. LOL

lol @ Potential Victims (being shot with an air rifle) - I can see how that can be quite annoying.

Our drummer has taken it upon himself to be 'band dad' so we take regular B*llockings off him. I got told off for being 2 minutes late to pack the gear away...

btw, Drummers seems to be taking the brunt of the criticism here, but to make it fair I'll add my own which I KNOW p*sses off my band mates no end... I have a fear of being even slightly out of tune which means I have to tune up (silently of course) between every song. I've got it down to about 8 seconds now but still, I can see why it's annoying!

"btw, Drummers seems to be taking the brunt of the criticism here,"

We can hack it !!

The ancestral function of the drummer was to lead an army into battle whilst completely unarmed so a bit of criticism from band members is miniscule in comparison... :@)

"The ancestral function of the drummer was to lead an army into battle whilst completely unarmed so a bit of criticism from band members is miniscule in comparison... :@) "


Hahahahahah! Excellent post!

1) Singers who have to tell a long-winded story before each song.....just play the damn song!

2) The pissed up moron who can hardly speak asking for "any Judas mate" during the break knowing full well he's just heard the first set which is clearly Punk (in our case). It's like asking a Metalleeeka (see what I did there) tribute to do a Green Day song.

Bass Players who want to play slap bass solos all the way through the songs
guitarists who want to play 3 million mph solos during the verses of a tune
Drummers who can't keep time or play at a reasonable level
Keyboard players who only ever seem to be interested in ££££££££££££££££ and constantly fiddle with the latest technological gadgets

Having had a good read, and laugh, and yeah been there moments, at all of the above, it amazes me that any of us ever bother going out playing at all! Are we all that bitter and twisted (yes!!) Anyway, my twopenneth,

Drummers who can't hold onto their sticks, and usually use the back of my head as a target.

Guitarists who have the volume on 11 all the time (I had a remedy, my old Warwick amp used to go up to 12, boy did that p**s a few off).

Practising a new song for ages in one key, then the first night you play it the dopey guitarist starts in a totally different key.

Bass players who think they are lead guitarists. No, you're the engine with the drummer, not the flowery stuff on top. Time and place people.

Keyboard players who turn up for an audition with a rig that Rick Wakeman would be jealous of, then spend hours trying to get it all too work. And in the end playing chopsticks is pushing the boundary of their ability (not too long ago that one!)

The 'Experts' who come up to you after a gig and try to tell you how you could play it better. Expert as in 'Ex' = used to be and "spurt" = a drip under pressure.
Rant over.

"Bass Players who want to play slap bass solos all the way through the songs
guitarists who want to play 3 million mph solos during the verses of a tune
Drummers who can't keep time or play at a reasonable level
Keyboard players who only ever seem to be interested in ££££££££££££££££ and constantly fiddle with the latest technological gadgets "

bass players, guitarists, drummers and keyboard players... are you a singer? lol :)

Unessesary widdley diddley fiddley guitar solo's

Drummers that just carry on playing during rehearsal when we're all trying to sort stuff out..

Idiots that put a pint glass on top of my Bass amp even though there's a big dangerous looking instant death grill on the top of it..

"# Posted by Viva La Coldplay - 11/08/2009, 13:31 (GMT)

Drummers that just carry on playing during rehearsal when we're all trying to sort stuff out.. "

I'm with you on this, for sure. Waving frantically at an itallian drummer to make him drop his sticks so we can get on with some serious song-writing is not my idea of fun.

nothing more annoying then when all the band decide to do certain tracks so the guitar guys get together doing an extra practice to learn all the chords riffs bass runs etc then other members of the band who agreed to do them in the 1st place decides they dont want to do it anymore we must have about 20 to 30 tracks like that grrrr

drummer and bassist think they're musicians!

Mark

Hmmm !

Your not gonna let that go with a simple Hmmm are you Trig???
K I L L !

well i guess he is a guitarist , and if you have 2 extra strings you are then a muso G,
Bloody good job i have 3 guitars then as well as being a bassist ehh ?

It probably means he hasn't ever worked with a real bassist Trig?

Well the blog is aimed at people in ones Band , and not in general ,
well i hope so lol

when you're workin on a twiddly bit, behind ya they're at it again.
bum-tit-bum-tit & dum-dum-dum-de fekin dum
Mark

@ dresden north end-"drummer and bassist think they're musicians!"-
errmmm-a good drummer will NEVER claim to be a musician-they're PERCUSSIONISTS!!-and- "bum-tit-bum-tit & dum-dum-dum-de fekin dum" i'll have you know, that's a highly technical form of sound check-"h'mmm-let's see now-shall i twat it harder or softer??!!" ;-D

So that's wat they're doin

guitarists that keep buggering about with effects boxes during a practice(tweaking i think its called) i nominate myself for this, perfection takes time though don't it? :-)))))))))

best not say or we could end up back as a 4 piece, pm me and I might talk lol

Band members who do not acknowledge or attempt to listen to any other type of music apart from the stuff they play!!

The lead guitarist who gets to the gig before anybody else, sets his gear up and then insists on playing through the full repetoire at stage volume whilst the rest of the band try and set up their own equipment. F** king annoying T*aT!

Then there is the drummer who puts a double bass drum beat in every song just because his hero, Ringo Starr did? Alan you can't put a double bass drum beat in that song, "Why Not"? Because it didn't have one in the original, it slows the whole tempo of the song down and I play the bass line that goes with the original beat.

Strange..............

Lee

As a fan, the bands not advertising where they are playing, so you don't find out till too late that you missed the gig!

@Angel .. that's where this site comes in so useful then eh? Gig guide 'n all that!
Willow

@Willow.. This site is great for the gig guide, but I've know of some bands that don't use the site and some that are on here and still don't post their gigs.

guitarist who use guitar flight cases & still carry their guitars like expensive china from the ming dynasty (don"t put it there its worth so much) ,venues who don"t put your flyers up,"sex on fucking fire",punters who haven"t heard anything apart from the latest top ten (do you know any girls allowed ?),sweet home alabama(look mate i come from chorley ) testing the mike 121212 audience or whoever is in the pub pissed up from the afternnon 345 ...pissed up on stage band members (believe it mate you SOUND SHIT)who think they are rock gods ...band members who leave there gear still unpacked when the venue is closing (thank god it don"t happen anymore ),band members who won"t play festivals or charity gigs anymore because they are further up the food chain as they"ve been in a band a few years now & more experienced (honest it does happen ).etc etc etc

As for annoying traits:

(I will not mention any names)

Rhythm guitarists who feel the need to drown everybody else out, including the drummer, which is a hard task to acheive, but this one managed it in about 5 seconds. A few seconds earlier he was using a really nice distorted tone, which was what the setlist called for, then 5 seconds later, a really loud, thick, mid-and-bass-heavy tone drowned everything else out, even though the amp I used was twice as big, and I was playing at a volume which, if it'd been any lower, it would've been practically muted. So I turned it down and the other guy turned up, making the audience practically beg him to turn it down. I suddenly felt really angry, unplugged my amp, put the cables and Crybaby in the bag, practically launched my beloved Ibanez into its case, zipped it up and changed my shoes back (I like to change to lighter footwear when I play, forgive me for being stingy but it's just the way I am). Next thing I knew I'd stormed out the door with a look on my face like I was ready to murder someone. After shouting at the top of my voice I strode home with the same murderous expression on my face.

Another is drummers who dictate what the rest of the band play, and if they don't get their way, they dig their heels in (Again, won't mention any names) "Sweet Child O' Mine?" "No, I want to do Teenage Kicks" (Or something annoying like that)

Audience member saying have you got ....... by........ fekin "have you got! I'll have a look in my box of songs you silly sod

I have a mate who will remain anonymous who regularly gets "Can you do ?" and has the stock reply ..

"The day you can slot a £1 coin up my arse and green numbered lights flash on my face then I'll become your personal jukebox. Till then we sadly only have the 4 hours of stuff we've spent months rehersing".

Drummers speeding up and shoe horning over complicated fills that throw everyone out of time.

Guitarists that fiddle with their amps between every song taking ages

Bassists that complain they can't ear themselves when it's thundering through the entire venue

Singers that sing over any and every gap in a song

Bands that don't know their singers range forcing them to struggle (learn what keys suit your singer FFS!)

Punters who request songs and take ages asking you to announce a birthday DURING a song!! We're not a fucking jukebox, it takes time to learn the 60 odd songs we are playing!

Singers who insist on holding the mic by the globe because they've seen rap/urban/R&B singers do it so they think it looks cool...well it doesn't, it looks stupid but it also deprives the vocal sound of any warmth, making them sound like railway station announcers. It makes me mad...like I wanna pop a cap in some motherf'cker's arse...innit?...know what aam sayin'?
MN

The reading out of raffle ticket numbers,old radio mics and dead batteries.

Loads of comments and laughs .....the pattern forms itself......all bands are the same with all the same traits....even the best bands in the world disagree so it looks like the saying ....I want be like (insert your fave band )...is easier than we thought as we are just like them when it comes to bickering and traits shame we can't earn the money the same it would make the traits easier to bear.

Here's one :

Agree songs ,spend two or three hours downloading and creating a Cd so we all learn the same song and then delivering it to members houses and at practice the immortal words " I did it off you tube " bands they are a killer !!!

Bass players that insist on turning every song into some abstract acid jazz/level 42 number. Were a punk band FFS, keep it simple!!
Drummers that start off at one pace then speed up so much you end up having to blurt your lyrics out like youve overdosed on speed.
Moaning singers like me who are now so old and brain dead from years of 'overdoing it' that I cant remember the lyrics to a single song all the way through..even my own

Other band member's,when you send them text messages with future dates,address.es,post codes,etc,etc,then don.t f***ing acknowledge the text,text you on the day,or an hour before wanting to know the postcode,or better still."i didn,t know we had a gig tonight"" WANKERS!!!

All in good fun by the way,lol

We named ourselves after the need to tell our lovely singer a rehearsal start time that's at least 3 quarters of an hour before when we actually plan to start...

Although with our drummer's recent time-keeping, we might have to change the name to Too Late For Andy (it's OK, it's a standing band joke. I hope!)

People who start waving their banjo's about when i rip one off on stage.
I say to him,the reason why they smell is so that deaf people can enjoy em as well......T

Guitarist and Bass player 'domestics' on stage in the break between songs;

Pissed up Singers talking shite

Pissed up punters asking for 'Jilted John' as the Only Punk song they know

Singers picking songs and saying its three chords with no changes and its 48 chord changes and eleven stops!!

those who set up their gear while you're still unloading the van and breaking your back!

those who forget the same bit of the song week in and week out for months!

lol!!!

Brothers in the same band... didn't last too long I'm afraid!

So that must be why when we play our bassist stands there with no expresion or movemeant at all. makes sense now