NWB - Community Blog

our classic at the lane ends in Wesham was "I've never seen a band with a lead bassist before"

pmsl

i got accused of miming my guitar parts once, so i passed the pissed up punter a chair and invited him to sit in front of my speaker , and watch his trousers start flapping...........

last time we (Hare Of The Dog) played at Old Isaacs Atherton(one of my faves) i got asked to play some Slayer, said punter told me they could tell i liked a bit of heavy metal cos i was wearing a black shirt and make squealy sounds with my guitar?!!!!!!!!!!!!!....

well yes, but hadnt he heard the rest of the set?, thrash metal we aint...............................

Someone said. Do you know the DOORS. i said yes. he said well fuck off out of 'em. TRUE. BASTARD !

best one......You said you were classic rock but didn't play any Shania Twain or Bonny Tyler. I do have quite a range but fuckin seriously mate

Many years ago I played The Wembley in Adswood Stockport, the "Manager" who by the way had a broken nose and two black eyes said "erm, we've had a wedding cancel out on us and we're a bit short, I don't suppose you'de like to buy a big cake would you?"
I reloaded the van and wondered if Led Zep and Bad Co were getting bored with their stressful careers...

I got the usual "Ahh ur miming !!!" chant from a pissed up punter so I asked him if he would like me to play anything for him "Time of you life , greenday" he said..so I played it and sang it allbeit with the wrong words, but with no backing track and acoustic setting , but hey I did it..."nah mate don't believe you , ur still miming " So I take that as a compliment cos I'm obviously so feckin awesome that even when I sing the wrong words and cock up the song it still must sound exactly like the record, ha ...how great am I pmsl.

Had the " miming" thing a few times. Gets boring after while

Best two I can think of ....

1: We use hazer at gigs as most bands do to enhance the light show. Guy comes up to me before the show and says " you'd not goning to use that smoke shite here are you, coz it gets on my wifes chest and she hot ashtma etc etc" . After a short discussion on the merits of hazer not smoke in our machines which left him unimpressed I agreed to cut down the use. " where is your wife sitting" I said as way of asking her to move out of way of worst effects. You guessed it...... She got a fag hanging out of her ugly gob. We used extra haze that night ;-)
2: We have a bloody big backdrop behind us which tells everyone who we are and what we are all about. One night after a great gig some chavette staggers up and says " why have you not played Sacrifice ?" When I advised her that Elton John sang that song and not Phil Collins she said "well just fooking play it anyway" Thick bitch

Best wishes

John

I've been told I've gotten lyrics wrong...
...
When performing brand new, original material?

Hmmn.

what about the "you look like" comments?

ive been told Eric Faulkner(Bay City Rollers), Mighty Boosh,Pete Doherty amd Richard Hammond

always usually annoys me,sometimes makes me laugh " no i look like me you f""king idiot"

"your guitars got a hole in it"

"that guitars a bit girly"

"tell me what those footpedals do"

"play some AC/DC" now i totally love AC/DC, have about 6 or 7 albums but its becoming a pub cliche for people to ask for AC/DC all the time, there is other bands

I'm sick of people asking for AC/DC at gigs. I don't do Bon Sott and I don't do Brian Johnson. Tried it, not good for my voice at all, back to Scott's sore throat syndrome some weeks ago. Don't strain it 'cos you'll lose it. I've done Whole Lotta Rosie a few times, and I've suffered afterwards.
Rob does look like Eric Faulkner though, and his guitar's got a hole in it. Won't say it's girlie though as he and Daz both have one.

"where did you get that bluetooth guitar?", "can you play any Steve Satriani?" "my mates dad can make the guitar talk!" (prob says stop playing me lol)

"play summart you know!!"

(half way through the set)- "just hang on a minute lads im trying to make a phone call"

"can I have a go on your guitar?" NOPE

landlord-"Ok lads were doing a presentation tonight can you play for hes a jolly good fellow" ???

"you guys should be on X factor"

landlord- "can one of you announce the bingo and how you fixed for calling the numbers out?"

absiolutely Dazz, yeah people coming up to us is generally a really mixed bag

and everybody must have had those moments when somebody comes up to you at the end, and youre expecting a nice comment, only to hear some totally annoying, bizarre or inane comment off some pissed up punter,

years ago, some pissed up punter came up to me and said

" hiya mate just wanted to say........your guitar sound is bloody awful"

i was only about 18 at the time but i still nearly f**king flattened him.................

yeah robert and steve, we get the same problem, the punters are always asking us for ac/dc shhhh what can ya do ???

i absolutely love AC/DC especially Bonnie stuff(i have one Johnson album, guess which one ha ha) but instead of rockers coming up to ya asking for Rosie its some 18 year old chavette or somebody who only knows that song by them and nothing else ha ha, next time i will ask em if they have high voltage and see what they say(cue a confused look on said punters boat)

At a recent gig at the Five Ways Hotel in Stockport, and after playing a Blink 182 number that he had obviously heartily enjoyed, a young gentleman at the bar shouted at me: 'I want your babies!!!' And he was sober. Does that count? :-) Ask ST if you don't believe me!

Ann x

Ann! We all want "your" babys darlin!
xxx

*Scaly scouse accent* (We're all from Liverpool btw but we have PROPER Liverpool accents like good old Ringo)..


Arr mate.. You're dead boss you lad... I fukin love Coldplay me been to see them loadds.. Got all 6 of their albums (They've made 4) can you play FIX IT?

It's Fix YOU you bell whiff



Shaun

Ive never had that one . ... i generally cringe when a drunk comes lumbering over, as my pipeing alter ego ive heard every daft comment ever, could write a book.

Ann youre just fishing for compliments

youre waiting for us to to go "phhwwwoooaaarrrr yeah ding dong, dont blame him saying that etc etc"

:-)

hey shaun (viva la coldplay) what do you mean FIX IT hahahahah

pissed woman shouted all night "Play more Bon Jovi" finally suggesting we play her favourite........Sweet Child o Mine!!!!

Innuendo

Band I was helping out was asked by a rather large lady for some Meatloaf,What !!! Do we look like soddin caterers? came the reply.

The "giz a go on yer guitar" thing is a classic..I usually say " what car you got?" the reply is usually summat like "Porsche 911"..so I say ok..give us yer car keys and Ill thrash your motor up and down the M60 while you play my bass ..ok???