NWB - Community Blog

14 Oct 2009

Things your frontman has said on stage that made you cringe

Filed Under : Music

Posted By : Scott - Metalleeka | Comments : 33

We've all been there, playing well, just finished a song and bam!!!!!!!!!

I'll use my mate's example cos it's a belter.

Anyway, we used to go to a rock club in Glasgow every fri and sat night, and there was this guy in a wheelchair, and every week he and his mates would get trollied like everyone else and they'd end up spinning him about on the dancefloor etc.
he absolutely loved it, and it was cool to see someone so totally into music.
So my mate writes a song called Rescue Me based on what he saw.

The band gets signed and they record their debut album, and they get a gig supporting a big band at the Cathouse in Glasgow. This was their chance to shine in front of the media and a packed house.

So, they finish a song and then the singer comes out with it.................

"This next song is about being fucked up in a wheelchair"

Not only did the crowd die, the band just stood there in terror for a second, and who was at the side of the venue?

yup, the guy in the wheelchair.

ha ha ha ha ha ha

I'm sure I'm gonna be guilty of it so let's here your horror stories lol

Scott

Comments

# Posted by Coldplayer - 14/10/2009, 09:30 (GMT)

ha ha that's classic!

not anywhere near as good as that, but our first singer a few years back got quite nervous when he had to fill the silence between songs and came out with some classics like "we're going to play a song by coldplay now!" or "next up, we've doing another song".

# Posted by Bad Horsie (Mick) - 14/10/2009, 09:32 (GMT)

"This face is leaving town. Be on it".

I'm not kidding. It was back in the 80s though and he was a bit of a David Lee Roth type. I'm over it. Pretty much. *sobs*

# Posted by Scott - Metalleeka - 14/10/2009, 09:43 (GMT)

"we're going to play a song by coldplay now!"
awesome, that's like something I'd say ha ha
Something like "Hi we're Metalleeka, and we're going to play songs by Metallica....duh........." lol

"This face is leaving town. Be on it".
Mick, that's a belter pmsl
I might actually use that for comedy value hee hee

# Posted by Shyster - 14/10/2009, 09:52 (GMT)

almost every week our singer makes us cringe, but now we're used to it, and he doesn't care anyway! He once started a gig by screaming 'ALRIGHT MOTHER F**KERS!!!' down the mic right before we smashed into our opening number. Oh, and he always introduces Turning Japanese as 'The Wanking Song' and then proceeds to toss off the mic stand all the way through the song. Disturbing.

# Posted by Shyster - 14/10/2009, 09:53 (GMT)

...and also introducing us as Martha and the Vandellas, our drummer hates that one...

# Posted by Scott - Metalleeka - 14/10/2009, 10:02 (GMT)

PMSL

ha ha ha ha ha

aw that's brilliant lol

# Posted by grooverman - 14/10/2009, 12:09 (GMT)

at the bike and hound in HYDE going on about Harold shipman then playing Doctor doctor - cringe !!

# Posted by Shyster - 14/10/2009, 12:36 (GMT)

@Scott - seriously, he doesn't even tone it down when we play weddings! The more we tell him to stop swearing in front of kids, the more expletives he finds, so we've given up to it.

# Posted by Shyster - 14/10/2009, 12:38 (GMT)

another one - introducing the next song from Westlife, where some girl in the audience shouts "Yes!", only for our singer to tell her to f*ck off and blast into Pretty Vacant...

# Posted by Shyster - 14/10/2009, 12:40 (GMT)

I can't imagine how many people we've alienated over the years

# Posted by Scott - Metalleeka - 14/10/2009, 12:40 (GMT)

lol awesome

I can't wait to see the pub reaction the first time we play So What lmao.
will need to try and come up with some witty line for before or after it.

# Posted by Scott - Metalleeka - 14/10/2009, 13:05 (GMT)

I need to come and see yer singer in action. He sounds like a superstar lol.

BTW, here's a clip of the culprit from my story at the top of this thread.
Brilliant guy, brilliant frontman, but you just never know what you're gonna get with Stevie.

apart from the time he sh!t all over my mums back patio at my 21st after party party cos he couldn't find the bog and my mum thought it was a big fox when she went out to hang the washing in the morning.

It's the only time I've ever seen him speechless when my mum asked him if he found the bog at our New Year party lol

PMSL

# Posted by DYEHOUSE - 14/10/2009, 13:20 (GMT)

In our earliar days we use to do "Smoke on the Water" [yeah I know!]
and the singer we had then was'nt one for learning the words properly?
One night for the second verse we heard him singing about "catching a bus in Rochdale" ????
Bless him!

# Posted by Scott - Metalleeka - 14/10/2009, 13:35 (GMT)

When I was in Without Reason, we did "don't look back in anger" by Oasis (not my choice BTW), and he used to sing "don't look back you w@nker"

lol

# Posted by Fnarr! Fnarr! - 14/10/2009, 14:01 (GMT)

One i used to love doing in the early 90s .... " does anyone like house music?? ..." (cos it was big then) .. some ponce in the audience ... "yeeahhh" ... me ... "well fuck off home then!" and blast into Hooples Golden Age of Rock and Roll!!
Willowhatesaudiencessometimes!!

# Posted by Anthem - 14/10/2009, 14:26 (GMT)

we had a cracker at the Hop Pocket. Heckler to Andy: 'you're too loud'
Andy to heckler:' John, John, John'
Heckler to Andy:'My name's Tony'
Andy to heckler: 'Oh sorry, Tony'
Heckler to Andy: 'What?'
Andy to Heckler: 'FUCK OFF'

sheer genius

# Posted by Bad Horsie (Mick) - 14/10/2009, 14:32 (GMT)

Hahahah!

# Posted by Shyster - 14/10/2009, 14:53 (GMT)

@Scott - you could always start So What with the classic James Hetfield introduction... oh yeah? OH YEAH?? SO F**KING WHAT-TA!

With mandatory growl of course.

# Posted by Whatever! - 14/10/2009, 15:39 (GMT)

Our old singer in the early days due to nerves and trying to fill in the silence between songs, used to announce the song, which album it was on and track number it was!!!!!!

# Posted by John Wilkinson: - 14/10/2009, 15:58 (GMT)

Christ on a bike I used to do that

best wishes

John

# Posted by THE STIG - 14/10/2009, 17:34 (GMT)

we played out in the sticks once, our singer dedicated a song for all the inbreds, to a response of, rick rick, shhhh
they all looked the same and their eyes were really close together.

# Posted by Ian from Bolton - 14/10/2009, 18:24 (GMT)

My old band Go Crazy played a pub in Bolton in 1993 and our singer had done his back in. We all covered his vocals and a few people were there who came to see us regularly, so I explained that he wasn't up to playing. I called him a puff (as in a weed or being bloody feeble).

A few actual poufs (and proud of it) in the audience wanted to know what was wrong with being a pouf. Talk your way out of that one, Ian....

# Posted by THE STIG - 14/10/2009, 18:27 (GMT)

@The Kerbcrawlers
hahahaha

# Posted by STORMBRINGER - 14/10/2009, 18:30 (GMT)

At the now defunct jam session in rawtenstall (the Rhythym Station)....one nite a guy got up did two songs.After the first number he was so hyper that introducing the 2nd number he blurted out 'Heres a song for all those with Parkinsons disease...Shakin All Over '...
And while in my old band In Ya Face....we used to do Knockin on Heavens Door and the singer used to dedicate it to the most recently deceased celebrity of the month/week. Unknown to him (but the rest of us knew) the Landlady of the Ranken in Hoddlesden had lost her husband to cancer 3 weeks before we did the gig and yes.....he went and said 'We usually dedicate this song to some dead dude and....' at this point i nudged him hard and told him the score and then proceeded to wish i was anywhere else than there.
Thankfully when i explained to her that he didnt know she was ok about it and im still giggin there 5 yrs later...but you could have heard a pin drop at the moment he opened his big gob....CRINGE !!

# Posted by 45's - 14/10/2009, 19:01 (GMT)

When we played at Marigolds in Darwen last Year, Nikki shouted " Good evening Blackburn " to which some of the crowd booed and picked up bar stools in protest. Ended up being one of our most enjoyable gigs in the end - Midnight Start with a large merry crowd.

Rick.

# Posted by Rob Redfern, Black Rose,more f... - 14/10/2009, 19:11 (GMT)

when Motley Crue played donington many years ago, Vince Neil should Hello London!!

donington is near derby and east midlands airport.

# Posted by O.T.E.(On The Edge, Warrington... - 14/10/2009, 20:39 (GMT)

Similar story to Ride On's.....

New singer's 3rd gig.

"Thank you for inviting us to this little outpost of St. Helens. Is it true that everybody here is related but they don't necessarily know it?"

Very much a Vic & Bob tumbleweed moment. Never been back. Sorry Andy.

# Posted by Anthem - 14/10/2009, 20:44 (GMT)

once saw a band in Workington, opening line was 'I'm surprised its so busy in here, thought you'd all be at home kicking the fuck out of your wives'. Needless to say, severe twatting from the landlord ensued.

# Posted by The Accused - 14/10/2009, 22:43 (GMT)

# Posted by Unfinished Business - 14/10/2009, 23:03 (GMT)

Rob Dog. Don't you dare say anything about me.
"Is there anybody out there with any cockney in them?
Are there any ladies out there want a bit of cock - ney in them". There I've said it myself.

# Posted by Unfinished Business - 14/10/2009, 23:08 (GMT)

God TFL, I used to go to the Jam night at the Rhythm Station, every Sunday night until they started the disco shite at 10 p.m. Killed the jam night. Started going to the Met in Bury instead. But I never did Shakin', so it wasn't me guv'na.

# Posted by sinnerboy - 14/10/2009, 23:47 (GMT)

We are Welsh, we are in WIGAN, the birth-town of our singer, and he starts farting on about RUGBY. Jesus Christ, you dont even play real rugby in Wigan, when you get tackled eveything stops and you start again - bit girlie for us rough Welsh Farmers. A bit like trying to compere a girlie band like Judas Priest to Black Sabbath methinks.
Never mind Mike, now you live in Wales, you just might learn. Ha-ha!

# Posted by sinnerboy - 14/10/2009, 23:59 (GMT)

Hey, this is a great blog, some real good ones up there. In an old band, we did the great Rory Gallagher song - here is the intro -
"We'd like to do Gary Glitters favorite song - Messing With The Kid".

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