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Werewolves Win Right To Tear Your Head Off

Filed Under : Music , Rants

Posted By : WOLFPACK | Comments : 6

made me laugh anyway!


BRITAIN'S werewolves today won the right to tear your head off, rip open your chest and hungrily devour your still-beating heart.

John Varley is also the chief executive of Barclays In a surprise move the Supreme Court ruled that the werewolves' relentless, blood thirsty carnage was within the law and should not be investigated by the Office of Fair Trading.

Supreme Court president Lord Phillips said: "While public opinion may be divided on the fairness or otherwise of horrifically violent werewolf attacks, the law states that having one's innards feasted upon is part of the price of going for a walk on the moors.

"Under the terms and conditions, accepted by moor walkers, werewolves will sink their razor sharp teeth into your throat and then pause momentarily to howl with glee at the mouth-watering prospect of fresh meat."

But Lord Phillips said the ruling was not the end of the matter as the OFT could still scrutinise werewolf attacks under other parts of the Being Eaten Alive By a Lycanthrope Act (1976).

An OFT spokesman said: "We have never suggested that werewolf attacks are unfair in principal. We simply believe they should limit themselves to taking a chunk out of your thigh or having one of your feet in a sesame bap."

A spokesman for the British Werewolves Association welcomed the decision, adding: "We have always maintained that those who stray onto the moors, even accidentally at the end of the month, should be devoured in an unstoppable orgy of teeth and claws.

"Nevertheless, we will do everything we can to help vulnerable people stay off the moors by putting up lots of useful signs that say 'shortcut across the moors this way' and 'road ahead closed'."

Comments

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# Posted by ST Photography - VIVA LA COMMU... - 29/11/2009, 14:12 (GMT)

Taken from The Daily Mash. One of my favourite websites.

To put it into context, it's a satirical spoof news article written in response to the news that the banks won the recent case over bank charges.


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# Posted by Steve Wolf - 29/11/2009, 14:16 (GMT)

@ ST -
thank F*ck for that I thought someone had found out about my weekly trips. Although I always make a fire, cause I like my meat cooked, er bit of breast anyone?


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# Posted by ST Photography - VIVA LA COMMU... - 29/11/2009, 14:17 (GMT)

Ha ha, that's funny because you're called Steve Wolf. Geddit? lol And yes, I realise the hipocracy of commenting on a non music related article. We can't all be perfect :oD


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# Posted by Steve Wolf - 29/11/2009, 14:23 (GMT)

@ST
Did I mention I take my Ipod, there now its musical LOL


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# Posted by ST Photography - VIVA LA COMMU... - 29/11/2009, 14:24 (GMT)

Thanks Steve Wololf. Nice to know you've got my back. Good rescue fella!


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# Posted by viking - 29/11/2009, 16:53 (GMT)

you don't get more music related than "howlin' wolf"?? ;-)


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